Stegeman: Out with the Drunk
Out with the drunk, in with the new
Spencer Stegeman
02.09.05 -- This year was a disappointment. Let's get that out of the way in case you were in a coma. But things are lookin' up kiddo. Word on the street is that we're looking to draft this kid by the name of Joe Montana, and this guy Walsh has some spunk.
Okay,maybe it isn't 1978,but the point is that we've been in this rat infested hell-hole of a boat before. We've all felt the effects of scurvy due to our lack of vitamin C, we've all started to drink the sea water and we are seeing dragons having sex with toaster ovens. Ok I've taken this analogy way too far, but what I'm trying to say, is that we've been this bad before. It's the calm before the proverbial storm. At this point,the only way to go is up (wow, that's two cliches in less than five minutes!). We've purged ourselves of the drunken turtle of doom in Dennis Erickson and of Terry "the minimalist" Donahue.
With the recent hire of ex-defensive coordinator for the Baltimore Ravens, Mike Nolan, myself as well as many others are as excited as a puppy humping his/her first leg. The guy comes to the Niners as the son of our former head coach, Dick Nolan. Mike grew up a 49er fan and intends to bring us back to the glory days of being that guy that no one wanted to make eye contact with. Most recently he ran one of the best defenses in the league and he's bringing the 3-4 defense to the red n' gold. A defense that we are well suited for. Sure, we could use some "beefier" guys on the line, but we have without a doubt one of the most talented linebacking corps in the league.
On the other side of the ball, he has hired Mike McCarthy, the former offensive coordinator of the New Orleans Saints. The focus is to get us back to the famed "west coast offense", where it belongs. We have some salary cap space this year, and we should be able to address our offensive line (offensive like a Russian woman's armpit) via free agency and the draft. I think we are fine at QB right now, although I believe that we could use a third or fourth round pick to secure the number two spot. I don't believe that Dorsey is the future of this organization. Although Pickett has shown some skill, its way too early to tell with him. As for the running back position, we have Kevan Barlow. You remember him...he's that guy that we signed to a five year deal so that we could watch that terrible impression of James Brown instead of him hitting the hole. His moves can't even be mistaken as jukes, because he just stutters his feet in one place until someone smacks the crap out of him. Now his problems could be one of two things. It could be that when we let go of Garrison Hearst, the flame under his ass was extinguished. What does he have to show if the job is already his? Or the problem could be that the offensive line was so freaking horrendous last year that every time Kevan touched the ball he had some guy's helmet on his jock in the backfield. While I hope that it's the latter, I trust that coach Nolan will make the right decision on whether or not to cut our losses.
That brings me to my favorite part about having our new coach. Well beside the fact that he isn't Dennis Erickson. Mike Nolan has no pre-existing notions about our team, he has no emotional or professional ties to any of them, and most importantly he has the final say in what happens to them. He doesn't have to clear his decisions with a General Manager. If he thinks that someone isn't pulling their weight, they are gone. Either we see everyone's "A game" next year, or we don't see them the following year at all. Simple as that. It's nice to have a coach with passion again. Erickson was only passionate about two things: drinking and being a terrible coach. I gather that Nolan is a hard nosed players coach. The kind of guy who drives you to be your best, and if he sees that, he's your best friend.
This last year was terrible, but dont kill yourself just yet (unless you were just a bandwagon fan and you are leaving for the eagles or the patriots...in which case, please kill yourself. Seriously, I just got off the phone with your parents, and they said that they hate you. Your girlfriend is sleeping with your boss, and your kids laugh at your small genetalia). I have a feeling things are going be alot better in the coming years, so stay true niner fans. This is a time for thinning the herd, and in a couple of years when the league is bowing to our might, we will be the strong ones who stuck it out and kicked the bandwagoners out of the wagon while driving eighty miles an hour down the (insert your hometown freeway here______).
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